Billy Smukalla
Hi I'm Billy! = ^ . . ^ =
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
What should I do???
its been more then 2 months sense i have been here........its just too hard. i know it might sound crazy but i think i need grief consoling. i just cant get past this. and i am no softy. i have been thru so much in my life. child abuse, sexual abuse, bad boyfriends, just a super hard life in general and i am able to move on from all that without it effecting me.....but this.......the death of my baby boy Billy......i just cant get thru this. i keep blaming myself for not noticing he lost weight and stopped eating early enough. and the fact that we had no money probably played a part in billy not getting all the help he could have had if we had more money. not being able to take him to the specialist because they wanted payment upfront and we had not one penny.... :( and of course i will always second guess myself for finally after over 3 weeks of treatment at the vets.....i let him go. would he have come out of this if i just took him home and tried to love him enough to get better? would he have done better being treated at home? if i never moved to las vegas 3 years ago, would he have still gotten sick? if i didnt switch food a few weeks earlier would he still be alive, if i would have taken him to the vet a day or two earlier would he still be here? i just..........i just cant stop thinking and crying and blaming myself and i just freaking miss him so damn much! i feel like i want to die too! :(
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Friday, August 19, 2011
I just got a call
I just got a call from Billy's vet office. His ashes are in. :( Rob (my husband) is picking them up on his way home around 6. I just know I am going to flip out when I see them. I am so sad today. I still miss him so much & still can't believe I am never going to see Billy again. He was the best cat in the world. Better then most people! Why are there still evil people walking around but my sweet billy had to die. It's just not fair.
Sophia
Sophia
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Will this pain ever end?
Thank you all for caring so much about my Billy. It’s been 9 days sense his passing & even though I am helping out an abandon kitty I still don’t feel any better. 
as a matter of fact I just feel worse and worse every day. I am physically hurting inside and out. my back and legs have been in such pain because my heart is totally broken. i miss my billy so much & constantly think about what i could have done different to save him. Will this pain ever end?
as a matter of fact I just feel worse and worse every day. I am physically hurting inside and out. my back and legs have been in such pain because my heart is totally broken. i miss my billy so much & constantly think about what i could have done different to save him. Will this pain ever end?
Sunday, August 14, 2011
I sent an Angel to mommy...
Hi it's me, Billy! I wanted to share something with you. I sent mommy a kitty angel! Mommy was in so much pain, I could not stand to see her crying so much so I had to do something about it. A few days after I passed over the Rainbow bridge, I noticed a little kitty who was not being treated very nicely by her owner. I moved the heavens so situations would align and would bring this kitties mommy to drop the kitty off at the same vet office I was in.
This kitties mommy was NOT a nice lady. She did not care for this kitty at all. She just came in to the vets office and said "I have a plain to catch" and abandon this scared little kitty.
My best friend at the vet clinic (Robyn) called my mommy and said, I know its very soon after Billy just passed but....I was wondering if you would want to give a home to this cute little girl that needs a home?
My mommy was hurting so bad (and still is very much) but she also has a huge heart and told Robyn she would come meet her. Well when mommy met her, it was love at first sight! New kitty, Mommy & Daddy all had a great visit and fell in love! A few days later & New kitty was ready to come home!
Here she is! Meet new kitty! (mommy is kicking around a few names.. like Butter Cup & Crackers (because she is very hyper) what do you think mommy should name her? Please help her come up with some names. Mommy does like to try to name us all names that start with the letter "B" for some reason. Meow for now!
our first meeting with new kitty at the vets. you can tell she was scared.
First day at home! See how relaxed she is now! She is home!
Look at that face! So pretty!
She is part Siamese and part tabby with really pretty blue eyes. Her coloring is super light brownish tan stripes and cream colors. Reminds me of a perfect cup of coffee.
Beautiful!
Hope you enjoyed the pictures of new kitty! Remember to leave a comment and help name new kitty! Meow.
Billy
This kitties mommy was NOT a nice lady. She did not care for this kitty at all. She just came in to the vets office and said "I have a plain to catch" and abandon this scared little kitty.
My best friend at the vet clinic (Robyn) called my mommy and said, I know its very soon after Billy just passed but....I was wondering if you would want to give a home to this cute little girl that needs a home?
My mommy was hurting so bad (and still is very much) but she also has a huge heart and told Robyn she would come meet her. Well when mommy met her, it was love at first sight! New kitty, Mommy & Daddy all had a great visit and fell in love! A few days later & New kitty was ready to come home!
Here she is! Meet new kitty! (mommy is kicking around a few names.. like Butter Cup & Crackers (because she is very hyper) what do you think mommy should name her? Please help her come up with some names. Mommy does like to try to name us all names that start with the letter "B" for some reason. Meow for now!
Hope you enjoyed the pictures of new kitty! Remember to leave a comment and help name new kitty! Meow.
Billy
Friday, August 12, 2011
Billy at 2 months old.
This is a super sweet baby picture of Billy when he was just 2 months old. He is such a handsome boy! Look at those ears! Look at his adorable face. I miss him so much.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Unbearable Pain.......
I am beside myself. I still can't believe Billy is gone. I will never again hear his super loud purr, he will never lay next to my pillow, talk to me, meow in his special way or cuddle with me ever again. The pain is just unbearable. :( Thank you all for loving and caring about my sweet baby boy.
Sophia
Billy's Mommy.
Sophia
Billy's Mommy.
Billy's last videos :(
These are the last three videos ever taken of Billy. They were taken just a few minutes before he passed. This is super hard for me, but I need to post them now, or I might never post them at all.
I love you baby boy! I will never forget you!
Love always,
Mommy.
<3
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
I made a poster of Billy at zazzle. It's adorable.
Billy at rest. by beefcakebilly
Click on picture or "beefcakebilly" to view store.
You can order one for yourself by following the link. $5 of each sale goes to help Billy's final costs.
Billy's last pictures & details about his last day. RIP
These are the last pictures taken of Billy. The first few I took right when we got to the vets office yesterday (Aug 9th) when I thought he was progressing. Then I noticed he was being lethargic & meowing in pain. The Doctor came in & told me he had taken another big step back. He was getting worse & worse by the day. They had done everything possible for Billy. He said that most cats with his condition get better with even just one of the treatments billy received and they tried 3 different medications and give him more than two weeks to start getting better and not only did he not get better but he was getting worse and worse at a faster rate.
I was going to see if maybe the specialist could figure out what was wrong but as I continued to spend time with billy i saw he was in such pain and he was very tired. The specialist would have to put his little body thru a lot of invasive tests and most likely surgeries and more pain and even then there was not a good chance of him surviving thru all of that. I just couldnt put him thru all that just for me.
his little body was only being kept alive by the feeding tube and the fluids they were giving him. he would be a brave little boy and try to be perky when i came to see him because he knew it upset me to see him look like he was in pain but he just couldnt hide it anymore. I had to be the brave one for him this time.
about 20 minutes into our visit, i told my husband to see if the doctor was still in the clinic. he was. i told Dr. Lewis that it was time to let my little boy rest. I truly believe he kept himself alive the last few weeks just for me. I asked the Dr if i was doing the right thing and he said yes. Billy was not getting better and he had a very painful day that day. he was rejecting the more frequent feedings and was throwing up all day and just was not feeling good at all.
I noticed he started laying on his side and putting his head flat down on the exam table which he never did during our visits. he also started putting his inner eyelids up as well which to me looked like he was starting to pass away before my eyes but just slowly and in pain. I had to relieve him of this pain. it was the hardest thing i ever had to do and i have been thru a lot in life.
The doctor let us have some time with him then he came in and gave him a sedative to relax. Billy laid flat on the table and started to dream. Then the doctor slowly injected the other stuff. Billy passed without any dramatic movements or any signs of suffering at all. he just looked like he was taking a nice peaceful nap. The doctor then checked for a heartbeat. there was none. billy was gone. Dr. Lewis left us to have a bit more time with our billy. i continued to cry and pet him and give him kisses. he was still warm. we noticed when we lifted his tail how hallow it felt. i always thought his tail was so heavy because his tail was so powerful but without billy controlling it, it was so very light. my husband and i continued to hug and pet and kiss him. The doctor finally came in to take him back and i covered him up in the blanket and said goodbye my sweet little boy. i will love you forever!
My Billy was trying his best to be brave and pretend he wasnt hurting so bad but he couldnt keep up the act for long. As you can see, he started showing his pain soon after we got there.
After just a few minutes into our visit, he couldnt even keep his eyes open
Then he couldnt keep his little head up.
you can just see the pain on his face. this is when i decided i needed to release him. I had to show him how much i loved him.
***IF YOU DO NOT WISH TO SEE THE TWO PICTURES I TOOK OF BILLY AFTER HE PASSED, PLEASE DO NOT SCROLL DOWN. IF YOU DO WISH TO SEE THE PICTURES WHICH ARE VERY TASTEFUL, HE LOOKS VERY PEACEFUL, THEN SCROLL DOWN A BIT. ***
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~~~~~~~~~~RIP BILLY. MOMMY LOVES YOU~~~~~~~~~~
The green materiel you see over billy is his daddy's shirt. Daddy his hugging billy.
My sweet angel. You can rest now baby.
I was going to see if maybe the specialist could figure out what was wrong but as I continued to spend time with billy i saw he was in such pain and he was very tired. The specialist would have to put his little body thru a lot of invasive tests and most likely surgeries and more pain and even then there was not a good chance of him surviving thru all of that. I just couldnt put him thru all that just for me.
his little body was only being kept alive by the feeding tube and the fluids they were giving him. he would be a brave little boy and try to be perky when i came to see him because he knew it upset me to see him look like he was in pain but he just couldnt hide it anymore. I had to be the brave one for him this time.
about 20 minutes into our visit, i told my husband to see if the doctor was still in the clinic. he was. i told Dr. Lewis that it was time to let my little boy rest. I truly believe he kept himself alive the last few weeks just for me. I asked the Dr if i was doing the right thing and he said yes. Billy was not getting better and he had a very painful day that day. he was rejecting the more frequent feedings and was throwing up all day and just was not feeling good at all.
I noticed he started laying on his side and putting his head flat down on the exam table which he never did during our visits. he also started putting his inner eyelids up as well which to me looked like he was starting to pass away before my eyes but just slowly and in pain. I had to relieve him of this pain. it was the hardest thing i ever had to do and i have been thru a lot in life.
The doctor let us have some time with him then he came in and gave him a sedative to relax. Billy laid flat on the table and started to dream. Then the doctor slowly injected the other stuff. Billy passed without any dramatic movements or any signs of suffering at all. he just looked like he was taking a nice peaceful nap. The doctor then checked for a heartbeat. there was none. billy was gone. Dr. Lewis left us to have a bit more time with our billy. i continued to cry and pet him and give him kisses. he was still warm. we noticed when we lifted his tail how hallow it felt. i always thought his tail was so heavy because his tail was so powerful but without billy controlling it, it was so very light. my husband and i continued to hug and pet and kiss him. The doctor finally came in to take him back and i covered him up in the blanket and said goodbye my sweet little boy. i will love you forever!
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~~~~~~~~~~RIP BILLY. MOMMY LOVES YOU~~~~~~~~~~
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Billy has passed over the kitten rainbow. :(
I am going to keep this short because I just cant deal with anything right now. I thought you all should know that Billy passed over the kitten rainbow at around 7:40pm tonight. I went to visit Billy & the doctor said he had a really bad day, he was in a lot of pain and throwing up all day and i had to make the hard choice of releasing him from his pain. I will post up his last pictures and videos in a day or two along with more details but i just cant do it now.
Thank you to all the people who donated and supported me and billy thru this whole thing. I still need your love and support so dont forget about us.
We are still left with a bill of over $2,700 to pay so if you are able to, please keep the donations coming in.
In Loving Memory of Billy.
Thank you to all the people who donated and supported me and billy thru this whole thing. I still need your love and support so dont forget about us.
We are still left with a bill of over $2,700 to pay so if you are able to, please keep the donations coming in.
In Loving Memory of Billy.
More bad news. :(
I don't know why this has to be such an up and down roller coaster of emotion for me. I mean if Billy is going to get better then GET BETTER AND STAY BETTER. Every time I get good news I get bad news just a few hours later thats 10 times worse. :( It's not the doctors fault at all. He is doing everything he can for billy. Everyone is hoping and wishing and doing everything they can for him. we just cant figure out why he looks and acts like he is better when he is actually getting worse.
They had increased billy's feedings to every 2 hours and he was taking it well for almost a whole 24 hours but just now the doctor said they had just given him his feeding and he threw it all up! he threw up 3 times till it was all gone. they did an x ray and rectal exam and he is not blocked or plugged up in any way so why? why is it that he can walk around full of life and be interested in things going on outside, swish his tail, play and interact like normal but still be at deaths door?
the only way to find this answer is to send him to the specialist. its $150 just for the consolation but after that he will order all kinds of tests and most likely surgery which i would have to have the money for right away and i dont even have the $150. so unless some famous person who loves animals feels like plopping down a few thousand dollars to save billy.......i am afraid.........by thrusday...........i ......
cant say it. :(
I am going to have to say goodbye to my best friend in the world. I am most likely going to have a nervous breakdown. I just know i'm going to flip out. I am debating on weather or not to bring billy home for one last night at home before we..........do what we need to do.......i dont know ........ i am just hoping for a miracle. I dont know if i could live with myself if i sent billy over the rainbow without trying everything possible. i will always wonder.......what if.........
s.
They had increased billy's feedings to every 2 hours and he was taking it well for almost a whole 24 hours but just now the doctor said they had just given him his feeding and he threw it all up! he threw up 3 times till it was all gone. they did an x ray and rectal exam and he is not blocked or plugged up in any way so why? why is it that he can walk around full of life and be interested in things going on outside, swish his tail, play and interact like normal but still be at deaths door?
the only way to find this answer is to send him to the specialist. its $150 just for the consolation but after that he will order all kinds of tests and most likely surgery which i would have to have the money for right away and i dont even have the $150. so unless some famous person who loves animals feels like plopping down a few thousand dollars to save billy.......i am afraid.........by thrusday...........i ......
cant say it. :(
I am going to have to say goodbye to my best friend in the world. I am most likely going to have a nervous breakdown. I just know i'm going to flip out. I am debating on weather or not to bring billy home for one last night at home before we..........do what we need to do.......i dont know ........ i am just hoping for a miracle. I dont know if i could live with myself if i sent billy over the rainbow without trying everything possible. i will always wonder.......what if.........
s.
Please visit our sponsors to help ...
Please take a moment to visit our sponsors (the Google links). When you click the Google links & visit the sponsor websites, you are helping with Billy's vet bill & cremation. Thank you so much for caring.
Sophia
Billy's Mommy.
RIP Billy... Aug, 9th, 2011 at 7:40pm
Sophia
Billy's Mommy.
RIP Billy... Aug, 9th, 2011 at 7:40pm
Monday, August 8, 2011
BAD NEWS! I can't take this up & down rollercoaster of emotion much longer! Please help !!
sorry to say that i just got back from the vet about an hour ago and the doctor did his blood work again to see if he could come home soon sense he SEEMED like he was getting better but again, his white blood cell count went up even more and his bilirubin count went up even more again for the 3rd time! they are all out of ideas and they said his only options are to go to a specialist who would NOT work with me on payments, he would need all the money up front or put him to sleep but i think its such a waist to put him down after all this for two reasons. one, we already spent all this money we dont have to try to save him so why not keep trying and two, he is full of energy and is looking and acting healthy so its probably something totally fixable but we just dont know what it is. i have 48 hours to come up with the $150 for the internist consolation then whatever he thinks needs to happen, i need the money for that up front. i am looking at at least 2,000. if i had the cash i would do it in a second. i need a celebrity or some one who has the cash to loan or gift me this money because if you could see billy and see how healthy he looks.....i mean his blood work just doesnt match up! damn it ...... i cant give up!
If you or anyone you know is able to donate and help billy get to see the specialist. Please contact me directly! Email me at BillysVetBills@Gmail.com
I need to get cash together to bring him to the specialist within 2 days! Please Please help! I will do anything to save my baby boy!
Sophia
billysvetbills@gmail.com
If you or anyone you know is able to donate and help billy get to see the specialist. Please contact me directly! Email me at BillysVetBills@Gmail.com
I need to get cash together to bring him to the specialist within 2 days! Please Please help! I will do anything to save my baby boy!
Sophia
billysvetbills@gmail.com
Update from Dr. Lewis Aug 8th 2:30pm :)
Just talked to Dr. Lewis and he said that Billy is looking better & his vitals are good. He also said that Billy ate a few dry kibbles on his own today and they let him walk around the kennel for a while and he was stretching and walking and rolling around and full of energy! woo hoo! you go billy! you show em how strong you are! mommy loves you! Oh yah, he also said that he will check his blood work again and if its going good then billy MIGHT be able to come home with me tomorrow. He will still need to come in every few days for fluids and he will still have the feeding tube in him so i will have to feed him every 2 to 4 hours and give him his 3 medications as well. no sleep for me but i dont care. if it helps billy get better i will do it!
Remember, to donate to BILLY SMUKALLA's Vet bills to help him overcome this deadly condition, please call the animal hospital directly at :
Grand Montecito Animal Hospital
6325 Grand Montecito Parkway
Las Vegas, NV 89129
Phone: (702) 656-1115
Fax: (702) 656-4147
Emergency: (702) 656-1115
E-mail: grandmontecito@gmail.com
Our regular clinic hours:
| Monday | 7:30am | until | 6:00pm |
| Tuesday | 7:30am | until | 6:00pm |
| Wednesday | 7:30am | until | 6:00pm |
| Thursday | 7:30am | until | 6:00pm |
| Friday | 7:30am | until | 6:00pm |
| Saturday | 8:00am | until | 5:00pm |
| Sunday | 8:00am | until | 1:00pm |
Super cute videos from this morning Aug 8th! Meow Billy!
Look how energetic Billy looks this morning! Yay! This HAS TO BE a good sign!
Remember, to donate to BILLY SMUKALLA's Vet bills to help him overcome this deadly condition, please call the animal hospital directly at :
Grand Montecito Animal Hospital
6325 Grand Montecito Parkway
Las Vegas, NV 89129
Phone: (702) 656-1115
Fax: (702) 656-4147
Emergency: (702) 656-1115
E-mail: grandmontecito@gmail.com
Our regular clinic hours:
| Monday | 7:30am | until | 6:00pm |
| Tuesday | 7:30am | until | 6:00pm |
| Wednesday | 7:30am | until | 6:00pm |
| Thursday | 7:30am | until | 6:00pm |
| Friday | 7:30am | until | 6:00pm |
| Saturday | 8:00am | until | 5:00pm |
| Sunday | 8:00am | until | 1:00pm |
Pictures from our visit with Billy this morning Aug 8th 8:30am
Hello everyone! Good news! While I was not able to talk to Dr. Lewis yet this morning, I did go and see Billy. He is looking and acting happier & healthier then I have seen him in 3 weeks! Again, I cant confirm this officially yet but I can tell you, he was super talkative, he was walking around and not in an agitated way, in a playful way. He was pushing his face on everything he saw and doing the "force pet" as i like to call it and when i was brushing him he started biting the brush like he does at home and he even played a little! His coloring and eyes looked brighter and better as well. I don't know what the doctor that was on call yesterday (NOT dr. lewis) was thinking when he told me he was doing worse & I should think about........i dont even want to say it but you know. but anyhow on to the positive things. we had a wonderful visit and we are going to see him again later on today! yaaaaaaaaaaaay! hopefully we can bring him home soon! you get better billy and prove the nay sayer wrong! yayyyyyyy billy! Team Billy! ya, i think i will make up some t shirts or something! woo hoo!
This is my favorite picture of the day! Billy is looking up so lovingly at his daddy! Oh he looooooves his daddy so much!
Oh pretty boy!
as you can see there was no keeping billy still today! he just wanted to walk around and play and push his face on eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeverything! thats ok by me! I love you billy! kissy kissy!
Remember, to donate to BILLY SMUKALLA's Vet bills to help him overcome this deadly condition, please call the animal hospital directly at :
Grand Montecito Animal Hospital
6325 Grand Montecito Parkway
Las Vegas, NV 89129
Phone: (702) 656-1115
Fax: (702) 656-4147
Emergency: (702) 656-1115
E-mail: grandmontecito@gmail.com
Our regular clinic hours:
| Monday | 7:30am | until | 6:00pm |
| Tuesday | 7:30am | until | 6:00pm |
| Wednesday | 7:30am | until | 6:00pm |
| Thursday | 7:30am | until | 6:00pm |
| Friday | 7:30am | until | 6:00pm |
| Saturday | 8:00am | until | 5:00pm |
| Sunday | 8:00am | until | 1:00pm |
Sunday, August 7, 2011
two videos from our visit on aug 7th
Remember, to donate to BILLY SMUKALLA's Vet bills to help him overcome this deadly condition, please call the animal hospital directly at :
Grand Montecito Animal Hospital
6325 Grand Montecito Parkway
Las Vegas, NV 89129
Phone: (702) 656-1115
Fax: (702) 656-4147
Emergency: (702) 656-1115
E-mail: grandmontecito@gmail.com
Our regular clinic hours:
| Monday | 7:30am | until | 6:00pm |
| Tuesday | 7:30am | until | 6:00pm |
| Wednesday | 7:30am | until | 6:00pm |
| Thursday | 7:30am | until | 6:00pm |
| Friday | 7:30am | until | 6:00pm |
| Saturday | 8:00am | until | 5:00pm |
| Sunday | 8:00am | until | 1:00pm |
pictures from our visit with Billy yesterday Aug 6th
Hi everyone. Sorry I didn't post anything yesterday. I have been too upset & depressed to do anything. I am really worried about my Billy. He seems to be just barley hanging in there & I don't know what to do. He still seems strong enough to fight this if we could just find the right medication to give him. It seems like every time we change the medication he gets a little better then the next day he goes back to the way he was before. I just think if we could have two full days of improvement in a row, then billy could make a recovery. He has been in the animal hospital for over two weeks now. I don't want to give up but the doctor that was on all today (not his regular doctor) said he doesn't see him getting any better. I did NOT want to hear that. I am hoping maybe he just isn't familiar enough with billy and his case to make a fully informed prognosis. I am hoping when I talk to his regular doctor tomorrow, he will have better news for me. I am also a bit upset because I was stuck 30 miles from my house earlier today and the vets office closed early today and I didnt get a chance to see billy. i feel so bad because what if billy thinks i dont love him or i forgot about him. this is the first day in over 2 weeks i didnt see him and i am just beside myself. i wish i could see him right now. i am going crazy. i know i am not going to be able to sleep tonight. i just need to see him and get some good news.
Remember, to donate to BILLY SMUKALLA's Vet bills to help him overcome this deadly condition, please call the animal hospital directly at :
Grand Montecito Animal Hospital
6325 Grand Montecito Parkway
Las Vegas, NV 89129
Phone: (702) 656-1115
Fax: (702) 656-4147
Emergency: (702) 656-1115
E-mail: grandmontecito@gmail.com
Our regular clinic hours:
| Monday | 7:30am | until | 6:00pm |
| Tuesday | 7:30am | until | 6:00pm |
| Wednesday | 7:30am | until | 6:00pm |
| Thursday | 7:30am | until | 6:00pm |
| Friday | 7:30am | until | 6:00pm |
| Saturday | 8:00am | until | 5:00pm |
| Sunday | 8:00am | until | 1:00pm |
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