Billy Smukalla

Billy Smukalla
Hi I'm Billy! = ^ . . ^ =

RIP Billy. I love you.

R.I.P Billy Smukalla May 5th 2004 - Aug 9th, 2011 at 7:40pm

"If Love could have saved you...
You would have lived FOREVER!"

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Billy's last pictures & details about his last day. RIP

These are the last pictures taken of Billy.  The first few I took right when we got to the vets office yesterday (Aug 9th)  when I thought he was progressing.  Then I noticed he was being lethargic & meowing in pain.  The Doctor came in & told me he had taken another big step back.  He was getting worse & worse by the day.  They had done everything possible for Billy.  He said that most cats with his condition get better with even just one of the treatments billy received and they tried 3 different medications and give him more than two weeks to start getting better and not only did he not get better but he was getting worse and worse at a faster rate.

I was going to see if maybe the specialist could figure out what was wrong but as I continued to spend time with billy i saw he was in such pain and he was very tired.  The specialist would have to put his little body thru a lot of invasive tests and most likely surgeries and more pain and even then there was not a good chance of him surviving thru all of that.  I just couldnt put him thru all that just for me.

  his little body was only being kept alive by the feeding tube and the fluids they were giving him.  he would be a brave little boy and try to be perky when i came to see him because he knew it upset me to see him look like he was in pain but he just couldnt hide it anymore.  I had to be the brave one for him this time.

about 20 minutes into our visit, i told my husband to see if the doctor was still in the clinic.  he was.  i told Dr. Lewis that it was time to let my little boy rest.  I truly believe he kept himself alive the last few weeks just for me.  I asked the Dr if i was doing the right thing and he said yes.  Billy was not getting better and he had a very painful day that day.  he was rejecting the more frequent feedings and was throwing up all day and just was not feeling good at all.

I noticed he started laying on his side and putting his head flat down on the exam table which he never did during our visits.  he also started putting his inner eyelids up as well which to me looked like he was starting to pass away before my eyes but just slowly and in pain.  I had to relieve him of this pain.  it was the hardest thing i ever had to do and i have been thru a lot in life.

The doctor let us have some time with him then he came in and gave him a sedative to relax.  Billy laid flat on the table and started to dream.  Then the doctor slowly injected the other stuff.  Billy passed without any dramatic movements or any signs of suffering at all.  he just looked like he was taking a nice peaceful nap.  The doctor then checked for a heartbeat.  there was none.  billy was gone.  Dr. Lewis left us to have a bit more time with our billy.  i continued to cry and pet him and give him kisses.  he was still warm.  we noticed when we lifted his tail how hallow it felt.  i always thought his tail was so heavy because his tail was so powerful but without billy controlling it, it was so very light.  my husband and i continued to hug and pet and kiss him.  The doctor finally came in to take him back and i covered him up in the blanket and said goodbye my sweet little boy.  i will love you forever!

 My Billy was trying his best to be brave and pretend he wasnt hurting so bad but he couldnt keep up the act for long.  As you can see, he started showing his pain soon after we got there.
 After just a few minutes into our visit, he couldnt even keep his eyes open

 Then he couldnt keep his little head up.
 you can just see the pain on his face.  this is when i decided i needed to release him.  I had to show him how much i loved him.



~~~~~~~~~~RIP BILLY.  MOMMY LOVES YOU~~~~~~~~~~
 The green materiel you see over billy is his daddy's shirt.  Daddy his hugging billy.
My sweet angel.  You can rest now baby.

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