More bad news. :(

I don't know why this has to be such an up and down roller coaster of emotion for me.  I mean if Billy is going to get better then GET BETTER AND STAY BETTER.  Every time I get good news I get bad news just a few hours later thats 10 times worse.  :(  It's not the doctors fault at all.  He is doing everything he can for billy.  Everyone is hoping and wishing and doing everything they can for him.  we just cant figure out why he looks and acts like he is better when he is actually getting worse. 

They had increased billy's feedings to every 2 hours and he was taking it well for almost a whole 24 hours but just now the doctor said they had just given him his feeding and he threw it all up!  he threw up 3 times till it was all gone.  they did an x ray and rectal exam and he is not blocked or plugged up in any way so why?  why is it that he can walk around full of life and be interested in things going on outside, swish his tail, play and interact like normal but still be at deaths door? 

the only way to find this answer is to send him to the specialist.  its $150 just for the consolation but after that he will order all kinds of tests and most likely surgery which i would have to have the money for right away and i dont even have the $150.  so unless some famous person who loves animals feels like plopping down a few thousand dollars to save billy.......i am afraid.........by thrusday...........i ......

cant say it.  :(

I am going to have to say goodbye to my best friend in the world.  I am most likely going to have a nervous breakdown.  I just know i'm going to flip out.  I am debating on weather or not to bring billy home for one last night at home before we..........do what we need to do.......i dont know ........ i am just hoping for a miracle.  I dont know if i could live with myself if i sent billy over the rainbow without trying everything possible.  i will always wonder.......what if.........

s.